Balm of Gilead

Gilead is a highland district in the Middle East, east of the Jordan River, south of ancient Bashan, in what is now the country of Jordan. There a bush, or small tree, grows fruit which produces a resin from which a balm was made in ancient Israel.  The tree or shrub producing the balm is commonly identified as Commiphora gileadensis. Some botanical scholars have concluded that the actual source was a terebinth tree, of the genus Pistacia. This bush grew so plentifully in Gilead in Old Testament times that the balm came to be known as the “Balm of Gilead” (Gen. 37:25; Ezek. 27:17). This balm was an aromatic spice, or balm, used for soothing, for healing wounds. Balm of Gilead was rare. The expression “Balm of Gilead” stems from William Tyndale's language in the King James Bible of 1611 (Gen. 43:11; Jer. 8:22; 46:11; 51:8), and has come to signify a universal cure in figurative speech.

The term “Balm of Gilead” is found in the eighth chapter of the Book of Jeremiah, where Jeremiah, lamenting the suffering that would befall Israel, cried, “Is there no balm in Gilead; is there no physician there?”, seeking relief for the suffering, the hurt, to be experienced by the Children of Israel in the then near future. Jeremiah speaks of the balm of Gilead again in the 46th chapter where he speaks of the Israelites seeking relief from their pain by using balm from Gilead.  These were appeals for the welfare of those who were worried, or restless, or anxious. A plea for those who were not at peace. Those whose lives were touched with disappointment, grief, or bitterness, struggling constantly with worry, frustration, or anxiety.  In Jeremiah's pleas the major source of the people's trouble was their own wickedness. However, that is certainly not the only source of stress and worry in our lives. Stress, worry, and difficulty are part of the Plan.  The processes of earning a living and raising a family, while being major sources of happiness and fulfillment, are also major sources of stress and worry, particularly as we grow older, progress through life, and discover that not everything unfolds the way we planned or wanted. Life's disappointments or broken dreams. Or as age creeps slowly in and we find we can no longer do things we used to do. It was John Lennon who made famous the statement, “Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans.”  And sometimes getting life to turn out the way you want, even as well as you're able, involves a great deal of effort, work, and worry.

Stress from several sources is present pretty much throughout the entirety of life. But it seems to me that it is most intense in the years when little children are in the home.  That is not too marginalize the stress and demands of other seasons of life. It just seems to me that life's stress peaks during those years. That is also not a derogatory statement toward children. Their existence and successful upbringing is one of the core, fundamental purposes of life, and an incredible source of joy and happiness. But the fact remains their early years are very intense for conscientious parents.

It is usually during that time, when children are small, that parents find the demands of their family, the sacrifices they're called upon to make, so intense that it becomes a distraction, even a hindrance to their own rest, welfare, and peace of mind.  When dealing with little kids, who operate on a purely emotional bases and can't be reasoned with, which can bring intense pressure in some situations and certainly makes things difficult from time to time.  This brings me somewhat closer to my point.  My family, my children and their families, are becoming fully immersed in that period of life, that period of life where family demands are reaching their peak, their most intense point. And, unfortunately, that peak does not occur and pass in a matter of hours or even days. It typically lasts for several years. I remember very well that period of my own life. Sitting in the foyer at church with a misbehaving child, trying to make sure being in the foyer wasn't more fun than being in the chapel.  Looking for a quiet room at church where my child could finish out a temper tantrum without disturbing so many others. Being at a store with a child who decided to pitch a fit because something was the wrong color.  Nights when I'd drop into bed, hours after I wanted to get there, exhausted. Feelings of frustration and aggravation consuming my emotions. Sitting in the car gathering strength to go in the door and see what was going on, to meet the challenges waiting inside. Tense rides in the car to or from school, church, or other family activities, wondering how to make things work better. Sitting in the garage crying. Sitting at my desk at work crying. Sitting in my room crying. Standing in the backyard crying. I remember very clearly the first time I wanted to take my life in a certain direction with some more education but was unable to because I wasn't accepted into the program.  So many tears shed in worry, frustration, anguish, hurt, disappointment, and simple exhaustion from all the work, worry, and sacrifice made for my family, sacrifices of time, personal interests, money, health, and other things. I fully understand what my children are going through. It is the same thing families have gone through for generations but I don't say that to diminish it in anyway. Nor do I say that to claim some special accomplishment, or to cause guilt to any one.  I say that to suggest I fully understand what's going on. And therein is my frustration as I watch my children and others go through this; my ability to provide comfort or relief is so limited. Is there no balm in Gilead?

And that brings me to my purpose here. My people skills are so very limited. It must be a trait with some genetics to it because from things I've seen and read, my father and his father also found it difficult to interact with people, and to express their feelings. I have a couple of children who also suffer from this malady. There could be a great deal going on in their heart but they seem to lack the ability to get it out to where others could benefit, or even be aware. You can't tell based only on what is said, you have to notice more what is done, often very quietly and subtly. My ability to express what is in my heart is very limited. As a result, I am often very quiet. I have been chided for lacking feeling or empathy, when in reality it is simply my inability to express my feelings that is operating, not that I don't have the feelings. But I know someone who can do that, and who does it very well. I am married to her.

The scriptures speak of providing comfort, comfort from the Lord or comfort for one another.  The prophets speak of giving comfort to those in need, of angels of mercy. I have learned that some are better at that than others.  Brombeere is one through whom the Lord has been able to send comfort and peace over and over again.  I have seen it many times.  She is blessed to recognize when others are in need, to know what to say, to know how to draw them out, and then bring comfort to their soul, confidence to their minds, and peace to their hearts. Sometimes I wonder if they even realize what happened; its magic - they just feel better. A kind word, a gentle touch, a soft look.  Sometimes nothing more than a hug at the right moment.  Often such comfort does not bring any physical or behavioral change that fixes the problem but there is something about talking about it, sharing the feelings and frustrations, that brings comfort, peace, and increased ability to deal with it, whatever “it” might be.  

Sometimes I call this “Mama Magic”, especially when it is her children involved.  And I am convinced it is a gift of the Spirit with which she has been blessed.  I know I certainly don’t have it. But she does. She has been placed in the midst of those who surround her to bring peace and comfort to them to whatever extent they will allow. My patriarch, some three years before I ever met her, spoke of Brombeere and called her a “sweet, pure daughters of Mother Eve to be [my] eternal companion, ... whose likes will blend with [mine] most beautifully.” He went on later to say, “This is but an index to what the Lord has in store for you.”  I fully believe one of those unnamed blessings was a spouse who would have the Gift of Comfort.  She is the Balm of Gilead to this family and many others with whom she comes in contact. 

Years ago, before we were married, she asked me my thoughts on raising children.  I told her it was my plan to marry a perfect woman and help wherever I could.  And so it has been.